the world’s oldest ship war
Aeschylus: Achilles goes on top.
Plato: No; definitely Patroclus.
Xenophon: They were just friends.
Plato: Shut up, Xenophon.
Aeschines: It’s practically canon.
Aristarchus: I know it looks canon, but Homer didn’t write that - someone added it later.
Shakespeare: It’s canon.
Alexander is just that incoherent guy in the corner going “SDFkjhgksdjhf OTP”
this is gospel